Sleepy Reaper

SORRY KAREN!

Arrived back home from holidays looking like a bloated toad and feeling like a flogged ham candle after a Sat night at the clubs. After getting up early to rip into a few chores around the house whilst carrying my other half all day I realised hey, “Today hasn’t been that bad🌈”. Well stuff me sideways and into a small box! Today turned into a hormonal Karen and decided to start riding me like the misses does when I forget her birthday for the second year in a row 😩. I suddenly remembered I’d been killing myself without my morning coffee! It seemed the day was going to get better but how I was so wrong and things were about to change. As I began to boil the kettle the semen demon woke from her lunch time slumber. All I wanted was 10 mins of peace but as I opened to door to her room a smell that could outlast religion smacked me right in the suck-hole. A large pile of infant green hot goodness which had been delivered during sleep. I tried my best to stay out of the green goblins grasp but it already had me firmly in its grip with the thick green goodness smeared down my front 💩. Wishing someone was secretly under the bed to shoot me in the testicles with a BB gun, I cleaned up the mess🤮. After cleaning my way through WW3 I went to walk out of the room and stubbed my little toe. I instantly though to myself “Bugger me Susan, piss off and leave me alone!” By this point I thought I’d Met My Maker but apparently not. I finally got to brew my coffee and took the first sip. I instantly had a party in my mouth and everyone was invited💦🤤. From now on I will be Meeting My Maker every morning and also kicking those Hormonal Karen days right in the taint! Love this coffee💦😘😍🥰