Intro
Good Coffee
DAMN GOOD COFFEE
STRAIGHT UP
STRAIGHT UP
Wake the dead and make waking up early for the daily grind worth it.
Subscriptions
FINALLY
SOMETHING
WE WANT YOU TO SHARE.
SOMETHING
WE WANT YOU TO SHARE.
Save 10% and stay caffeinated until you meet the Reaper.
Leaden those pencils
Choose your brew!
-
Filter Bags (QTY: 10)$22.00
-
Clean CutRated 5.00 out of 5 based on 3 customer ratings(3)$17.25 – $53.00
-
Meet Your MakerRated 5.00 out of 5 based on 2 customer ratings(2)$17.00 – $52.00
-
Wake The DeadRated 5.00 out of 5 based on 9 customer ratings(9)$17.00 – $52.00
Subscribe and save
Wake The Dead Subscription
From: $15.30 / monthMeet Your Maker Subscription
From: $15.30 / monthThe Unholy Trinity Subscription
From: $41.40 / month
Apparel
Hoodies / Tees
merch
Tin Mug / Slaps
TESTIMONIALS
SORRY KAREN!
Arrived back home from holidays looking like a bloated toad and feeling like a flogged ham candle after a Sat night at the clubs. After getting up early to rip into a few chores around the house whilst carrying my other half all day I realised hey, “Today hasn’t been that bad🌈”. Well stuff me sideways and into a small box! Today turned into a hormonal Karen and decided to start riding me like the misses does when I forget her birthday for the second year in a row 😩. I suddenly remembered I’d been killing myself without my morning coffee! It seemed the day was going to get better but how I was so wrong and things were about to change. As I began to boil the kettle the semen demon woke from her lunch time slumber. All I wanted was 10 mins of peace but as I opened to door to her room a smell that could outlast religion smacked me right in the suck-hole. A large pile of infant green hot goodness which had been delivered during sleep. I tried my best to stay out of the green goblins grasp but it already had me firmly in its grip with the thick green goodness smeared down my front 💩. Wishing someone was secretly under the bed to shoot me in the testicles with a BB gun, I cleaned up the mess🤮. After cleaning my way through WW3 I went to walk out of the room and stubbed my little toe. I instantly though to myself “Bugger me Susan, piss off and leave me alone!” By this point I thought I’d Met My Maker but apparently not. I finally got to brew my coffee and took the first sip. I instantly had a party in my mouth and everyone was invited💦🤤. From now on I will be Meeting My Maker every morning and also kicking those Hormonal Karen days right in the taint! Love this coffee💦😘😍🥰
Justin
WELL HOLY CHRIST!
Finally got home last night after night shift away and feeling like an oversized bag of dried wrinkled foreskins. Got woken up this morning at 5 being slapped in the face by the semen Demon and having her scream in my face DAD!! I thought to myself, someone poke me in the eye with a skewer and kick me in the Willy I feel like shit😩 Then I remembered I had some new coffee to try so I boiled the kettle, chucked in a few spoons of wake the dead and set off on my mystical adventure🌈 towards enlightenment. Finally sat down after eagerly plunging my cup of black gold into my cup and took a sip for the first time🤯. After I finished my cup of coffee I felt a surge and my body came to life and I also somehow inherited the power to taste sound (not sure if you put mushrooms in with the coffee but I liked it). Sitting on the ride on to mow the lawn I almost slipped off the seat I was that moist with satisfaction after one of the best coffees I’ve had in a long time! I’m currently still having an outer body experience whilst getting dad shit done. BLOODY LOVE THE COFFEE💦💦😍🥰😘
Justin