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Many a tale has been told about the search for The Holy Grail, some say it can never be found, wars have been fought over it and many a soul has been taken by The Reaper trying to find it. We’ve got good news! Sleepy Reaper has had it the entire time. The beanie ain’t gold, it’s woven from the silken pubic hair of the sacred virgins of Kebabistan. To fill your clammy carcass you get the choice of our three blends of liquid gold so you can charge yourself with 500ml of arse kicking motivation. And finally, the stickers, one of each so you can tell the world you know coffee… without being a wanker about it.

The best bit? We’ve taken our scythe to the price and given you a cheeky bargain so you can get The Holy Grail without the bullshit those walking tin cans did all those years ago. Sorry lads.